10 Steps to Building the Crappiest Guest Post Pitch That’ll Never Get You Published

Building an effective pitch is always among the first main obstacles in every guest blogger’s career.

I mean, there are just so many possibilities and so many questions to answer.

How long do I make it? Do I send it via email? Should I introduce myself first? Should I include some examples of my work? Should I get right down to business or should I sugar-coat it? Etc. Etc.

These questions are all valid; a good pitch has a lot of elements to it indeed. Plus, the only way to find the one that’s the most effective for you is to just try a lot of different things … and also fail with a lot of things along the way.

So just to help you out with this failing part, I’m presenting the following tutorial on how not to build guest post pitches. Or better yet, how to do them the wrong way.

I find this sort of reversed guide much more enjoyable to read than the standard go-and-do advice. I hope you’ll enjoy it too. But I should probably start off with a short disclaimer: If you want to learn how to write a proper guest post pitch, do the exact opposite of what’s written here.

So here we go, I give you the 10 steps to building the crappiest guest post pitch the world has ever seen:

1. Don’t mention the name of the blogger

When sending your pitch, you could refer to the person you’re sending it to by their name. Absolutely; you could do that.

But who actually has the time to find out what that name is, am I right?!

It’s much quicker to simply start off with something like “hey there” or “dear sir/madam.”

And let’s not forget about the absolute grand slam of email greetings: “to whom it may concern.”

2. Pretend you’re their reader

It’s a common practice to begin your message by complimenting the blogger on their work. People say that it’s just fine and dandy and that it improves your chances of getting through by some percent.

So, yeah, do this!

But don’t spend too much time on it. Just visit the blog, take the newest headline, and in your email say something meaningless like this:

“I’m really enjoying your post on Insert Headline Here!”

That’s all. Just simple copy and paste.

3. Pretend you’re not using a template

Bloggers don’t like receiving template messages, so you need to trick them into thinking that yours isn’t one!

Do this by using the name or the URL of the blog somewhere near the beginning of your email. Like:

“I really appreciate the work you’re doing at http://example.com!”

That should trick them!

4. Use the expression “quality original content” a lot

Hey, that’s what bloggers need, right? Quality content on top of quality content on top of quality content.

So in your guest post pitch, make sure to promise that quality content is exactly what you’re going to deliver.

Don’t go into detail, though. Trying to explain what you mean by quality content is not necessary.

“I’d really like to offer you some quality original content in the form of a guest post!”

5. Say that your post is going to be epic!

Saying that your work is going to be a prime example of “quality content” is not enough, you also need to ensure the blogger that their audience will absolutely fall in love with what you’re going to write.

Be uber-confident about this. This is crucial!

“I’m sure your audience will appreciate this article and share it big time with their friends and family!”

6. Mention the number of words the article will have

Bloggers really do care about numbers of words more than they care about their dogs. Really! It’s the most important parameter of everything they publish.

Plus, you want to set expectations right. If you don’t mention this, the blogger might get mad when you send a post that’s way too short and lacking substance (that’s another thing).

Oh, by the way, keep the number below 500. Writing longer articles takes too much time and requires more planning (not sexy).

So let’s tweak one of the previous examples to mention the word count:

“I’d really like to offer you some quality original content in the form of a guest post (450 words long)!”

7. Make sure you’ll get your links

Let’s face it, you want the links. Why else would you guest post, right?

So just to make sure that everything will go smooth with the post and all, say openly that you expect to have at least two do-follow links (within the post) pointing to your sites.

Plus, don’t forget to mention that the links will have optimized anchor texts (important).

“In exchange for the article, I only require to have two do-follow links pointing to my sites and using optimized anchor texts of my choosing.”

8. Pitch an unrelated article

The method is simple: You can always pitch whatever article to whatever site. True story (soooo many people do this, it’s ridiculous).

The site’s about cooking and you’re a real estate marketer? No problem, a “buy a home in San Diego” -article will look great on a “Baking with Alice” -blog.

Really, don’t sweat over this too much.

9. Slap a really lame subject line on your email

There isn’t even that much to explain here. Your subject line needs to convey what the deal is right away, leaving no place for interpretation (preferably so your recipient can easily identify it in their inbox and mark it as spam right away).

Here are some gold examples:

“Guest post opportunity for http://domain.com”

“[GUEST POST] from Your Name”

“We’ll write a quality original guest post for http://domain.com”

10. Don’t personalize anything

Finally, the one guideline to rule them all!

Never ever personalize anything about your template.

This would take too much time and effort. Just take the template, include the site’s URL wherever necessary, and send it out. The more pitches you send, the better chance you have at getting in!

Remember that you’re basically pitching the same articles, so there’s just no point in personalizing the messages. Be just as blank as hundreds of other guest bloggers before you.

BACK TO REALITY

Here at GBT, we put a lot of effort into constructing our guest post pitches properly, testing new things and optimizing the hell out of every little detail.

But at the same time, the majority of the pitches we receive across our blogs tend to be really poor, to say the least. This brings me to the conclusion that, as it turns out, the “crappy pitch” is actually the industry’s standard.

Granted, using that sort of pitch will still land you a guest post spot probably once in every 200 tries or so, but that shouldn’t be your goal.

You should aim at one in two, not 200.

And this is something you’re only going to be able to achieve if you build your pitch in a way that stands out from the pack. Bringing something unique to the table is the only way to get noticed and achieve the one in two success rate. Unique and honest is the approach that just works, regardless of the market you’re in.

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Here’s How to Guest Blog and Not Get Penalized … for a Change

The recent developments in the online marketing space aren’t making our jobs easier as guest bloggers. A lot of people are no longer that sure what should be considered good practice vs. bad practice for guest blogging.

For example, here’s a bit clueless tweet by Rand Fishkin where he tries to figure things out for one of his sites:

Just to give you a short version of the story; all was well until one day Matt Cutts – the head of web spam at Google – decided to come out against guest blogging as an SEO practice. According to him, everyone doing guest blogging for SEO purposes is essentially being a bad guy and trying to game Google and their search engine results.

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How You Can Manage Your Guest Blogging Efforts in Half the Time [Part 2]

This is part #2 of a quick two-part series on how to manage your guest blogging efforts. The approach presented here is based on learning the skill of mind mapping and then utilizing it for maximum effectiveness.

In the first part, we talked about the difficulties of guest blogging from a management point of view. If you’ve been guest blogging for any amount of time then you know how easy it is to get lost in the process and lose the grasp on your ongoing tasks. Successful guest blogging isn’t something you do in solitude. Instead, it’s more like 50% communicating with people (bloggers, site owners) and 50% writing. So if you fail to take care of the former effectively, even your superior writing skills won’t be able to make up for these shortcomings and make you a successful guest blogger.

That is why we’re introducing the concept of mind mapping, to help you manage your efforts and make sure that every article and every communication is handled in a timely manner.

Just to remind you, here’s the structure of the mind map we’re using (introduced in part #1):

groups

So that’s the big picture (the bird’s-eye-view, if you will), and now let’s go through the individual branches and explain everything in detail.

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How You Can Manage Your Guest Blogging Efforts in Half the Time [Part 1]

Okay, okay, sorry for making this headline sound like a bunch of hype, but it’s not an exaggeration (at least I honestly believe it’s not).

Note. This is part #1 of a quick two-part series on how to manage your guest blogging efforts in the most efficient way possible.

Let’s face it, despite what Matt Cutts has been saying recently, guest blogging is still an important element of building a career online. If you have a relatively small audience, there’s no other better way of putting yourself in front of people than doing it through guest posts.

The difficult part though is that it can take a lot of skill to organize your efforts for maximum efficiency. For instance:

“Did I send that email yet?”

“Did he publish my post on time?”

“Was I supposed to follow up with that guy?”

Do any of these sound familiar?

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Sending a Guest Post Right Away vs. Sending the Pitch First

There’s an evergreen dispute going on in the guest blogging community. It’s about whether you should pick a target blog and send a finished guest post right away, or maybe start by pitching only the idea first.

This might not seem like a real problem at first, but it quickly becomes one once you start guest blogging on a regular basis.

Even though guest blogging is great on many levels (brand building, SEO, traffic, networking and etc.), the main problem with it is that it simply takes time – make that massive time if you’re targeting some high profile sites.

And not only is writing itself time-consuming, there are also loads of other tasks to do. You have to pitch, wait for a response, follow up, wait for publication, and so on. Sometimes it takes up to 2 months or more to get a guest post published (not exaggerating).

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How to Get Guest Posts Published Exactly Where You Want Them to Be Published

Guest blogging is fun, as long as you can manage to get most of your articles published with no hiccups.

The other side of the coin, however, is that guest blogging can also be really frustrating, especially when it seems that every one of your articles keeps getting declined for one reason or the other. I’m sure you can relate.

Just to give you an example. Some time ago, I wanted to get my work featured on Killer Startups. A rather popular site – Alexa rank of 10,000 if you care about such things – that covers everything related to startups.

Looking at my journal, I can see that I apparently tried reaching out to them three times. To no avail. It was only on the fourth time when they finally said “yes” and let me through the door.

Was I frustrated along the way? Kind of, not hugely, but some frustration was surely there.

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Here’s How to Play the Modern Guest Blogging Market

Feel free to share you own opinion on this one, but it seems that the blogosphere is a lot like the traditional newspaper publishing market nowadays. Or at least, it shifts towards such a model.

What this means in plain English is that getting a guest post published is no longer as easy as jotting down a piece and sending it over.

Unfortunately, those days are done for the most part – at least when we’re talking quality guest blogging, and not just shallow guest blogging for SEO.

Speaking of SEO, a week ago, I talked about Matt Cutts’ recent opinion about guest blogging and how a number of popular blogs decided to shut their guest-blogging doors to the public. Reading that piece will give you a good bird’s-eye-view on how to treat guest blogging in 2014 and going forward. Don’t forget to check it out if you haven’t already.

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Why Guest Blogging Isn’t Dead for Anyone (And How You Can Take Advantage of It Even Today)

guest blogging

“The death of this and the death of that.” Ohh internet, if only I had a penny…

It’s really hard to let a week go by without someone calling a given practice/method dead. I think it all started when some poorly informed people proclaimed blogging (as a whole) being dead. Then it was SEO. Then AdWords, and so on. Anyway, it’s only natural for guest blogging to kind of follow the trend.

And indeed, the web has been very vocal about the demise of guest blogging lately. Where by “the web” I actually mean Matt Cutts – the head of scaring people webspam at Google. In January, he said this and started a new chapter in the discussion:

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How Not to Write a Guest Post

Guest post by Karl

Guest blogging can be a potent way of marketing your blog or service, if you get it right. And it’s by far the most white-hat link building strategy for webmasters today. If your aim is to grow an audience for your blog or business, you should consider guest posting your best bet. You probably already have.

Thousands of bloggers are already aware of this tactic, but are they all doing it the right way? Are their guest posts pitches always accepted? Well, apparently many guest bloggers are committing many grave mistakes when writing their posts; mistakes that you can consciously avoid. Here they are:

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The Ultimate List Of Pet Blogs That Accept Guest Posts

This post is part of a list of over 500 blogs, in more than 25 categories that accept guest posts. You can find other blogs here: the ultimate list of blogs that accept guest posts.

This is a list of top pet blogs that accept guest posts. Feel free to check them out, share them with friends and comment on this article.

If you want someone to handle your guest blogging or develop a guest blogging strategy for you, you can get in touch with me.

 

1. TheDiaryMad.com

Pagerank: 1

Mozrank: 3.99

Alexa rank: 167,455

How to Submit Guest Post: Ensure your guest article is appropriate by checking other related articles on the blog. Read the guidelines on the guest post page to know what is required of you as a guest writer.

 

2. DogTipper.com

Pagerank: 4

Mozrank: 5.72

Alexa rank: 75,002

How to Submit Guest Post: Browse through the published tips so as to have an idea of the writing style. Visit the guest post page for guidelines on how to write your tip. Published tips have a minimum word count of 50. To submit, use the form on the guidelines page. You will be allowed to link to your blog or website from your author bio.  

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